I’ve been wanting to write some posts about my personality as I perceive it and maybe get some feedback on how others perceive it. I hoped to blog about some of my weaknesses (or development opportunities, if you will) in order to try and determine if some of my attitudes and/or behaviors are “normal” or not.
I thought this would also be a good way to increase my self-awareness which is something that has always been important to me. It’s interesting to try and figure out why we do the things we do or why others do and react to things the way they do.
2 posts have finally prompted me to try and get started on this topic:
1) Rhythmics’s insightful post about why people blog. He mentions the fact that bloggers in general tend to be more introspective than the average person and I agree.
2) Heather’s great post about “treading the fine line between jerkiness and confidence [in job interviews]“. The post is mostly about interview tips (which are very useful) but it also talks about how many people screw up by being over-confident.
I’ll probably start off with the thing I wonder about the most… arrogance vs. confidence.
Nice post. I think the difference between arrogance and confidence is success.
Michael Jordan and Larry Bird talked a whole lot of trash on the basketball court. Yet no one called them arrogant because they were just that good. On the other hand, Terrell Owens…
An interesting topic – I think that the difference is in the eye of the beholder, that what, to one person appears as confidence, may often look like arrogance to another. I’ll be interested to read your thoughts Ian
Confidence is quiet and self-assured, arrogance is loud and self-asserting. Confidence already has the approval arrogance is trying desperately to gain. Not always the case but on first impressions, that’s how I tend to sum people up.
Arrogance is the quality borne out of arrogating, or making an undue claim to something. Taking the space that is yours is not arrogance. It’s confidence. That being said, arrogance is more often than not an external judgment, rather than an internally-mediated one, and in my mind usually the product of either jealousy or a partial understanding of others towards you.
Damon – Not sure if I agree… I think you can be successful and still arrogant. If you’re not successful, then I would say you’re pretentious! Which, in my mind, is probably worse than being arrogant. Although, based on L-E’s comment below, perhaps my definition of arrogance is wrong!
RD – I completely agree. Actually, this was the comment I left on Heather’s blog: “… I’ve also found that most people who mistake confidence for arrogance are often people who are insecure themselves. I find the confidence/arrogance line pretty tricky sometimes because I think a big part of it depends on the perception of the other person.”
Darwin – I like your definition of confidence vs. arrogance. Although, we come back to the point that it’s all a question of one person’s perception.
L-E – It was good seeing you the other day, and we managed to discuss this topic in person!
That waitress had a pretty interesting definition of arrogance as well! lol
“Taking the space that is yours is not arrogance.”
I guess this now becomes a question of how you take up that space. In essence, what would you call someone who is [fairly] taking up their space, but is being a jerk about it?