Trashy Girls Flickr photo by TheDamnMushroom
Last week, I came across an excellent post by Monica O’Brien over at Twenty Set about women needing to get past the “party girl” stage of their lives. – Men Need to Grow Up?
Surround yourself with women: Let’s face it – it’s easy for you to get what you want from men. So stop spending time with men and work with more women. You’re less likely to get things you want by flirting with a woman, so the relationships will teach you how to negotiate and express your ideas succinctly. Women hold other women accountable – use it to your advantage to become a better person.
The whole article is great, but the quote above struck a chord. Several of the girls I know often say: “I have so many guy friends because I just get along better with guys!” While I can understand how this might be the case, most of them are also very attractive. Thus, why certain females get along better with males might be something more subtle…
…don’t tell me how there are no good guys interested in marriage. … Don’t fool yourself into thinking your outward beauty means you’ll never end up alone. …give guys a reason to want to settle down. Be interesting. Be lovely. Be someone worth giving up bachelorhood for.
Amen!
I am no longer allowed to look at women, so I can’t tell what gender my friends are.
Birthday presents are difficult.
Dom – LOL Yes, I remember you telling us about the castration ritual!
I do have some female friends but those are few and rare. It’s not because I’m lazy and I prefer to bat my eyelashes at a bloke than work at building up a friendship with a woman (for the record I don’t bat my eyelashes at blokes, I was being sarcastic).
It’s because I have so very little in common with a typical female that I find conversation extremely difficult as there is rarely anything we have in common to relate to.
Perfect example from last week – two girls from my lab went to the cinema to watch ‘The Accidental Husband’ whilst I went to see ‘The Bank Job’ with another guy.
Darwin – Right, if it’s one of those cases where you prefer action movies rather than girly movies, sports rather than shopping or working out rather than getting your nails done, then sure.
I’m referring to girls that I would still consider “girly-girls” who have TONS of guy friends and like 2 (or 0) girl friends.
Interesting post, Ian.
I think it’s funny how the writer was sort of pushing for women to ‘reclaim’ their maturity status – which, according to her, is what they are most “common” for – from themselves.
After reading this article, I can’t help but to think that on one hand this was written to uplift women and on the other, out of Jealousy for those girls who are still childish, as she implied, and are grabbing men’s attention by being too open with themselves. And, if I am reading correctly reading between the lines, this is the exact reason as to why these girls behave the way they do with guys and the way they interact w/ their fellow primates.. err, I mean fellow women.
Women need the same exact things as us guys, and the only difference is that women are less expressive about what they want. They expect that the opposite sex find what their needs are without having to say it directly. Now, these ‘childish’ and ‘immature’ women are able meet men at a half way point, whereas these more ‘professional’, ’smart’, ‘mature’ women find it most difficult to do so.
As it would seem, the more ‘mature’ woman would find it easy to get along with other such women because they share the burden of finding a mate who would meet their needs. Whereas, the immature ones have their needs met.
Now, I would want to think that these immature ones need to grow up, but really I don’t think they are the ones who need to – and, i’m not talking about us guys either – considering the intentions of this article.
Deven – Interesting perspective. You said a lot of things, so perhaps I misunderstood something, but I would have to disagree with you. I think the point of the article is more how women [should] attract men.
Most guys will agree that you’re not typically expecting to meet your future wife in a bar/club. And IF you do, it’s certainly not going to be the girl who’s hanging all over you (and every other guy) trying to get free drinks.
My takeaway from that article was: Are women attracting men and getting things done because of their classiness/intelligence or their easiness/looks?.
Clearly, both men and women should strive to be the former and not the latter.
I am sorry if I wasn’t clear on what I was trying to say. I’ll try to explain where I am coming from with my last comment.
The article does show how women should attract men, as you’ve mentioned, but I find that there are other messages that the writer is intentionally/unintentionally trying to convey.
The writer made it clear that she was one of those girls who were most immature -‘easy’, ‘shameless’ and ‘superficial’ – and now she’s more “grown up” – ‘lovely’, ‘intelligent’, and ‘interesting’. But, how does one define being ‘mature’? … Does maturity come with age, experience, beauty and/or intelligence?
Everyone, both men and women, differ in personality and to put a label to being ‘mature’, the writer is creating stereotypes and making false generalizations, to say the least.
Now that the writer has “grown”, four steps on how to “grow up” were provided for women who would want to do so. I find that they really don’t show how a women can grow, but rather protect/shield/prevent her from a bad relationship by mentally preparing herself. Considering this, I wonder whether the writer recently broke up w/ someone and this is her way of getting over her situation, by creating a niche for herself.
If you don’t believe me, take look at the following examples and re-read the steps as they follow:
1.) A guy dumped you for a better looking woman with a hot body and made you feel, whether verbally/mentally, that you weren’t beautiful enough. What do you do to boost your ego and regain your confidence? – Read step 1.
2.) You and your boyfriend wanted to play house, and during playtime you found out that your boyfriend can easily outsmart and drain you of your money, how do you protect yourself from such a scenario? – Read step 2.
3.) The anger and disgust you have for your ex-boyfriend is just eating you up inside and you can’t work, or think properly, or sleep at night. How do you get over him and mentally/physically empower yourself for any other guy that comes along with the same bull? – Read step 3.
4.) When you’ve tried all of these things and you still need something more, what’s the last thing a girl would resort to? – Read step 4.
Taking these into consideration has the writer really grown from her ‘childish techniques’ by transforming and adopting more ‘mature’ tactics? And, based on her definition of maturity, are these the steps that ‘immature’ women should really adopt to ‘grow’ and attract men?
My apologies for writing so much, I hope that I was able to bring some clarity…
=)
Deven – Again, no worries for writing a lot! Although your thoughts might make good content for your blog.
On this topic, I see where you’re coming from, but I still disagree. If it helps, I’m pretty sure I read in one of her posts that she’s married…
Cheers!
Gotcha! :-)
p.s. I disagree w/ me too, was just playing stupid to learn sense, lol!