We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keep leading us down new paths.

-Walt Disney

This weekend, I watched Disney’s Meet the Robinsons with my sisters. The movie ends with the quote above. The Robinson family’s motto was: “Keep [...]]]>

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long.

We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we’re curious…and curiosity keep leading us down new paths.

-Walt Disney

This weekend, I watched Disney’s Meet the Robinsons with my sisters. The movie ends with the quote above. The Robinson family’s motto was: “Keep moving forward!”. Despite setbacks and whatever comes in your way, always remember to keep moving forward.

It had been a while since I’d watched a Disney movie, but now I remember why I like them so much! You get lessons that are valuable for kids as well as grownups!

“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” -Proverbs 16:9 (NAV)

Do you ever have those moments when you wonder what’s going on with your life? If you’re really doing what you’re supposed to be doing? If you’re meeting [...]]]>
“The Step” Flickr Photo by * Cishore ?

“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.”
-Proverbs 16:9 (NAV)

Do you ever have those moments when you wonder what’s going on with your life? If you’re really doing what you’re supposed to be doing? If you’re meeting your goals in a timely manner? If you’re in the right place? I have these moments of reflection every once in a while. They also seem more frequent as I get older, but something always seems to happen that reminds me that “What’s meant to be, is meant to be.”

One sunny summer morning, after being on my current project for about 2 weeks, my mind started wandering again. That afternoon, I went to see someone and I noticed that among the clutter of Post-its, comic strips, notes and other random stuff on his cubicle wall, he had a calendar that caught my eye. This calendar had a Bible verse for each month and in this case, the month was June; my birth month. I take it you can guess what verse was displayed for “my” month.

Despite things not really going my way, [coincidentally] coming across this verse served to remind that I was, indeed, exactly where I was supposed to be...

Lately, I’ve been talking to several people who seem to hate their jobs. When I saw this, I was reminded how a little bit of [...]]]> There was an interesting post on the Freakonomics blog yesterday about a gentleman who arranges soda bottles in a very artsy (somewhat Mondrian, apparently) fashion. Go have a look, I’ll wait!

Lately, I’ve been talking to several people who seem to hate their jobs. When I saw this, I was reminded how a little bit of effort and enthusiasm can contribute to your happiness in even the most mundane/boring job.

I was also reminded of the following story that I mentioned in my comment on their site:

A gentleman saw three men laying bricks…
He approached the first and asked, “What are you doing?“
Annoyed, the first man answered, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m laying bricks!“
He walked over to the second bricklayer and asked the same question.
The second man responded, “Oh, I’m making a living.“
He asked the third bricklayer the same question, “What are you doing?“
The third looked up, smiled and said, “I’m building a cathedral.“

Are you just laying bricks or building a cathedral?

When You Shouldn’t Care

My grandmother often says: “What will [...]]]> Before I get started looking inward, I was considering: should one care what other people think? This topic has the potential to go all over the place, so I’ll try to be as concise as possible and I’m going to give the typical consultant answer: “It depends.”

When You Shouldn’t Care

My grandmother often says: “What will people think?!” I find this amusing because note how this seems to imply that the general public actually cares about what I do! This becomes even sillier when we consider the fact that we don’t actually know what someone will (or will not) think because I haven’t done anything yet!

If you are doing (or not doing) things for the sole reason that you’re concerned about what other people will think, I believe this is a problem. I believe it’s important not to drastically change who you are because of what other people think. This also becomes a very tiring/tedious way to live because you constantly have to watch your actions and behaviour to conform to other people’s standards.

I would have to say that in general, I do my best to not bother with what other people think (especially in the last couple of years). However, I must also admit that due to my [relatively strict] upbringing (or perhaps this is also a cultural thing??), there’s still a certain amount of: “I wonder how I will be perceived if I do this…”

When You Should Care

On the flipside, I think it’s completely unrealistic to believe you can properly function in society without caring what others think at all. Can you imagine if someone never listened to any feedback they received over the years about their behaviour? I feel it’s important to be aware of how other people perceive you. If a number of people (from different backgrounds) have given you similar feedback, then odds are they’re not crazy.

Another thing to keep in mind is that you should generally take other people’s perceptions of you with a huge grain of salt. I’ve often found that people tend to project themselves onto others. Thus, people who are generally negative, will not have positive things to say about others most of the time and vice versa.

If someone is telling you something to hurt you or make you feel bad and there’s nothing you can do about it, don’t waste your time. If you’re getting constructive feedback and you can “fix” it, then you should definitely try.

Keeping all this in mind, it’s important to know that whatever your personality is, there will always be those you love you and those who hate you. You can’t please everyone, so why bother wasting time worrying about what others are thinking? Be yourself, do what you sincerely believe is right and let others assume what they want…

In any negotiation scenario, you often hear the term “Win-Win“. Wikipedia defines it as: “a win-win strategy is a conflict resolution process that aims to accommodate all disputants.”

However, can you ever truly accommodate everyone? Isn’t there always a loser? Even if both parties “win”, isn’t [...]]]> Let’s try and get back into this blogging business…

In any negotiation scenario, you often hear the term “Win-Win“. Wikipedia defines it as: “a win-win strategy is a conflict resolution process that aims to accommodate all disputants.”

However, can you ever truly accommodate everyone? Isn’t there always a loser? Even if both parties “win”, isn’t there always someone who “wins” more than the other? Or is my thinking just a product of our competitive society where people are either winners or losers? Can it be argued that winning and losing is a question of perspective in more complex situations? Let me give you an example:

The first consulting firm I had applied to rejected me immediately due to my grades. I was a little disappointed, but I got over it very quickly. In my mind I was thinking: “No worries, I know I’m still going to get a good job, so in the end it’s their loss.” Yes, cocky statement, but if we look closer, whose loss is it? I believe this is debatable…

Yes, it was the company’s loss in the sense that they lost a great candidate, but by the same token it was my loss that I didn’t get into this great company. Unfortunately, with this thinking, everyone is a loser and this is not my preferred way of seeing things. Let’s look at a more positive viewpoint…

Given my world view of: “Everything happens for a reason and everything eventually works out for the best.” This “loss” was in theory the best outcome for both parties. Beginning with the company’s perspective: I’m sure they found a candidate that was a better “fit” for their organization. From my perspective: because I was rejected by the first company, I had my resume ready, I got hired by another great firm, I’m enjoying it and I believe I’m a much better fit where I am now. Looking at it this way, both parties are winners.

Although the scenario presented above is in terms of business relationships, I believe this can also be applied to personal relationships. What might appear as a disappointment and/or loss at first is always ultimately for the best…at least that’s how I see things!

Looks like I’ve already blogged about this topic. Read the entry here. This is exactly what I was thinking about today, right down to the fact that I realize it’s a defense mechanism…interesting how some things about ourselves don’t change.

This is another one of [...]]]> “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
-Anonymous

Looks like I’ve already blogged about this topic. Read the entry here. This is exactly what I was thinking about today, right down to the fact that I realize it’s a defense mechanism…interesting how some things about ourselves don’t change.

This is another one of my practical rules to leading a generally happy life.

It’s a common misconception that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. I know there’s a term in psychology for this, but I [...]]]> Talking about free will, God’s plans and Darwin‘s comment about fatal car accidents, I thought about an incident that happened to me back in May 2003.

It’s a common misconception that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. I know there’s a term in psychology for this, but I can’t remember it now. We’ve all seen terrible things happen to good people and great things happen to bad people. People often ask: If there is a God, why is there so much bad in the world? I like to think that there’s a reason for everything good or [seemingly] bad. It all depends on your perspective. Here’s my story:

About 3 years ago, I was studying cramming for an exam with a couple of girls about 2 hours before we were going to write. We eventually decided we would drive over to the school and study there. I had my car and they had theirs. They left before me so I started off following them down the road. At one point, I changed lanes, passed them and was now driving in front of them.

As I drove along without a care in the world, out of the corner of my eye I suddenly noticed that a car (in the opposing lane) was making a left turn into my lane without looking. I realized I didn’t have my seatbelt on (not smart.), so I gripped the steering wheel tightly, pushed myself as far back into my seat as possible and slammed the breaks. CRASH!!

My car after my first accident. It obviously wasn’t my fault, so the insurance covered it.

I got out of the car and the two girls (driving behind me) had already come running out. One of them was crying. The first words that came out of my mouth were: “Whoa. I’m glad that wasn’t you guys.” She looked at me stunned and gave me a big hug. I walked over to make sure the old lady was OK and then sat on the sidewalk and continued studying until the cops came. A few weeks later, one of the girls came and said: “Do you remember the first thing you said was that you were glad it wasn’t us? Why did you say that!? I thought that was amazingly selfless!”

I’m not sure if it was selfless, but as you may know, I’m a very logical and rational person, so this was my thought process the second I got out of my car: IF they were still driving in front of me, they would have been the ones to get hit and the situation could have been far more different:

• The car she was driving (a Toyota Tercel) was MUCH smaller and lighter than mine; it would have definitely been pushed much further onto the sidewalk and that old lady may have not seen another day.
• Assuming she had slightly slower reflexes than me, the car would have smashed into the driver’s side door.
• There were 2 of them in the smaller car, thus more chances of either of them getting hurt.

Yes, all these things crossed my mind within those first few seconds and I thought: “Thank God it was me and not them.”

The story ends on an even better note because since I was not at fault in the accident, the insurance paid to get my car back in top shape (even better than it was pre-accident). Oh, I also aced that exam!

When “bad” things happen, how quick are you to stop freaking out, take a step back, try to see the bigger picture and come up with a positive perspective of the situation?